Thursday, October 11, 2007

God was humbling me this summer! praise God!

Well I just wanted to post what God did in my life this summer! God is such an awesome Father and I thank Him for the lessons that He teaches us through our dumb and stupid mistakes! This summer started out rough! I found out that the house I was living in was condemned and I had 24 hours to vacate it! Not really knowing what I was going to do I started feeling sorry for myself! Wrong thing to do people! Please if you all find yourself in this type of bind please go to His word! But I was heavy in my pity party! What am I, mind you I said "I" going to do, not what can God do; but what am "I" going to do! I then ran into some people I thought were my "friends", yes, satan was right there in our times of trouble to try to break us down! I almost allowed him to! But these friends asked if they could use the house I was living in to smoke crack and I said yes! I felt it did not matter anymore! So when they got to the house they offered me some! And after 6 years of no crack I said "yes" in my self pity! I took one hit realized it was wrong picked up the whole $200 and flushed it down the toilet and threw the people out; and told them to never play on my weaknesses again. So I went to bed feeling terrible about it! But the only thing I was thinking was nobody else knew about it! How selfish can a person be? I did not even stop to think about how bad I hurt God! The next day I went to the Rescue Mission to get a place to stay! When I got down there they told me that if I could pass a drug test I could stay on the family side which was a nice side and you could leave your things in the room everyday and you only had to be out of the Mission from 9 am to 11:30 am. If I did not pass the drug test I would have to stay in a dorm and you have to carry all your belonging around with you all day everyday; from 7am to 7pm! You also had to stay in a dorm with 26 other women who are activly involved in drug abuse , alcohol abuse etc... Believe me there are consequences to ALL our actions! What I thought was only between God and I was now out in the open! Now I was really beginning to understand that God sees all things and How much I hurt Him because I was beginning to hurt! But I had to face up to what I did even if it was just one hit in 6 years it was wrong! Now I had to pay for it harshly! But watching these women struggle it also gave me a chance to minister to them! God allowed them to see the difference in my life and theirs! The peace He gave me! Praise God! The first week I was there I would go to a coffee shop to study my Bible each morning! One morning I was there and I was reading Numbers 16. I came across the word "censers" I did not know what it meant! But there were 2 young men sitting next to me talking about the Bible and I asked them if they knew and the one guy said you are reading Numbers 16 I read it this weekend and I did not know that either! We started giving each other our testimonies and then I had to leave and as I was leaving the one young man said could you please hold on? I did not get my tithing in the collection plate this week I would like you to have it! I said no, because I wanted it to be just a question and friendly thing! But the one guy said No , it is from God! And his friend said if it is from God then you have to take it! So he stuck the cash in my hand and asked that I did not count it there! I did as he asked! But the gift from God was $200 and I had faith in God that He would provide me with money for my prescriptions this month and now I had more than enough so I took $40 for my prescriptions and put $160 in the account at the Rescue Mission for when I move out! The next week I had to go to court for my disability court date! Something I had been waiting for; for 3 years! I knew God was gouing to take care of it all! I got there to speak to my lawyer and he said I had to be careful what I said because i had 50% chance of winning! I told him I was not concerned because I had left it in God's hands! His will will be done! He said no we must practice what you say I said as long as I tell the truth that is all that matters! It was all in God's hands and that was it! So to let you know I was wearing a black t shirt that said "Wear the Glow " "God is the Answer" When we got into the court room the judge said I knew it Ms VanDenBerg! I took your case home with me over the week end! I knew it had to be a spiritual person who had lived through all this trauma and still talk about! If it was up to me you would have the disability right now but we must go through this court hearing for procedures! He then looked at my lawyer and said she in my eyes is an 12.5 bi-polar which definately qualifies her for disability. So we are just going to ask her a few questions for the record and you will all be on your way! He had a puzzled look on his face! After the court hearing the judge asked me if I would keep him in my prayers because he was going to have kemotherapy for the first time that night on his ear! I said yes and we prayed right there! When I got out tof the court room the lawyer said I have never in all my years of practice ever heard a judge ask for prayer! I looked at him and said God is awesome! So not only did I get disability, so I continue my counseling so I can get myself back to the point where I can work! but God gave me a Christian judge and a lawyer to witness to! The next week I was told I had an aprtment at Melrose Towers! All they wanted to move in was $50 rent and $100 deposit! If you remember I had $160 left! So I had $10.00 for toilet paper! Praise God! God is so awesome! I learned to go to God's word first in times of trouble! Do not feel sorry, God is in control! How to be humble and accept punishment when I am wrong and how to keep praising His name even when I am not doing well! Praise God! Love you all!

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